Effects of unforgiveness on the human body
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (NIV) Colossians 3:13
Everybody under the sun has been hurt at different degrees and different times before. It may be a betrayal from spouse, back biting from people you trusted, false accusations, unfair treatment at work place or at home or a problem caused from church members. It takes more effort and a longer time to forgive if the offence against us is so huge. But sometimes we simply are not ready or don’t want to forgive others who cause us pain. When we harbour grudges or problems, resentment builds in our hearts. We nurse offences; we remain prisoner to our pain and the offender, harm our brain and endanger the whole body.
When someone hurts us, it’s natural and normal to feel pain. God created our brains to help us survive when we feel threatened and offended. Unforgiveness stimulates the sympathetic nervous system also called the fight-flight-freeze response in our emotional centers in the brain. When this system is activated, among other things, our attention gets highly focused on survival, our digestive system stops, our pupils dilate, our saliva glands slow down, our blood pressure and heart rate increases, and our muscles are readied for action. Our body prepares itself to fight, flee or freeze.
This process can happen whether or not we are in real danger or whether or not someone really hurts us or we simply perceive that they did. Unforgiveness can keep our bodies and brains in this state of high alertness which leads to these unhealthy results:
Rumination: We nurse and rehearse the hurt, which reinforces our negative emotions and burns the event and pain even deeper.
Diminished memory: When we remain stressed for long periods of time (when we refuse to forgive), stress actually causes our brain to become smaller, especially our memory center.
Amplified negative emotions: Prolonged stress also amplifies our sensitivity making us even more susceptible to further hurt and pain.
Mostly, it feels good to see bad things happen to those who offend us. It’s the opposite of praying for your enemies, which Jesus commanded us to do. So, unforgiveness not only keeps us chained to our offender but it profoundly affects our bodies and brains physically. Spiritually, God will not forgive us our sins if we are not ready to forgive others.
Why keep all this negative and dangerous effects to yourself when you can forgive and enjoy great emotions spiritually and physically. Forgive and be free. Amen!