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Reconciling with friends

Written by Anyim Daniel.

“An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars." (NLT) Proverbs 18:19

Aside from the biological families that we're born into, we make families in the friends we find here on earth and they stick even closer than brothers do (Proverbs 18:24). Most cases, we share our joys, pains, exploits, experiences, etc. with our friends first, before we do that with our families, thus developing an even deeper bond with them.

In spite of all the good things mentioned above, our bitterest experiences also come when we are betrayed, offended or denied by friends. It becomes very difficult to fathom the sudden change in the situation and the fact that our own friends could treat us as such. We tend to draw away gradually from these friends and find solace in others. Friends that we offend also do likewise. A much bigger challenge arises when we decide to win our friends back. Indeed, offended friends are harder to win back. However, there are ways of dealing with situations.

First of all, we should follow the example of Christ Jesus (Ephesians 4:32). He was betrayed and denied several times during his stay on earth, notable among them is the betrayal by Judas Iscariot and Peter's three-time denial (Luke 22). We still betray Him today as Christians. But He is a forgiving God and thus draws closer to us than before.

Secondly, having empathy for our friends is one very basic way of understanding what our friends do to us (Matthew 7:12). By placing ourselves in their shoes, we comprehend their actions and easily forgive them.

Lastly, we ought to be prayerful (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; 1 Peter 5:7). In the midst of such experiences, the best option for us is to pray for guidance to resolve the issue, rather than contemplating on how the problem came about or finding a means to retaliate in the near future.

In conclusion "do all that you can to live in peace with everyone" (NLT) Romans 12:18.

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